She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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