They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
