She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Randomize
