covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
