I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i will never coherently bang her
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
