i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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