That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
