I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
i now understand why vodka
well, you know. whores of a feather.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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