There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
