hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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