So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
