You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
