The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
My dick has a subreddit
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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