he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
