My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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