We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
