I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
