Cold hands, warm shart.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
