I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
