everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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