Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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