the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
