i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
