Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
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