I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
