That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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