doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Acid is not a monday night drug
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
