you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
