If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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