my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
