I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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