I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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