Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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