I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
do herpes really smell.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
