I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
What a dumb baby whore.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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