If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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