weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
