I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
