In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
