I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
