at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
