hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
