Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
