i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
