paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
