your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
