maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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