"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I pour the whiskey from now on
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
