We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
