it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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