I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
