He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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